Dear Andee,
How are things going for you? Is your bed still smelly? And have you torn apart Brother Bear yet? I heard that Ms. Piggy has been ripped to shreds (what a shame). Things are going great for me. You would be jealous of the college life; I go on walks every single day. I walk from my dorm to my classes and back, sometimes taking a grand total of 1-2 hours of walking every day! I know, it's hard for your little brain to comprehend, but just imagine patroling the yard for an hour or two, and that is how long I walk. Isn't that crazy?! One thing I do not get to experience is running the fence. But I'll leave that endeavor to specialists like you.
Andee, I have heard that you have been a bad little boy lately. I just want you to know that you need to stop eating boxes of mac and cheese and chewing other people's clothes. Also, don't ever get into rat poisoning again (I know, it's hard to resist the sensation of hydrogen pyroxide, but you gotta put mind over matter). And if you ever feel like you need to get the wiggles out, pretend that the lawn mower is chasing you around the yard (you can also use this strategy to get rid of any unwanted neck fat). Anyways, I hope you take my advice to heart. Have fun in Boise, and don't forget to cuddle with whoever is in need of a cuddlebunny.
Love,
Ben
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